Friday, July 20, 2007

Diet Moksha

I’ve made many a discovery over the past few weeks. They’re either the result of my superior intelligence or of excruciating boredom.
The product of whatever, my recent learnings will stay with me awhile till I gain more from my pointless ponderings.

They (*‘They’ here being me and whoever else will say it next) say that intellect and idleness guard either sides of enlightenment. When you thieve through both barriers, you achieve bouddha. You bathe in the torrents of the waters these banks give shape to.

You attain Salvation Light, a mild attack of moksha.

Everyone has different enlightenments and different ways of getting to it. Meditation, tantrik yoga.. Thus, everyone is a guru in hers/his own rights.

My guruism came to me when I least expected it, in the dark of the night, while I bolted the main door before I retired to bed. That was my meditation, my single focus – the lock on the front door.

That’s when it struck me. The whole world, the segregations, the living, the dead, second life, every way we’ve tried to tame and learn, contain her.. they’ve all been pointless!

I’d cracked it! The world.. the universe, the multiverses, time, space, time-space!

Nothing could define it the way my new theory could. It was simple and profound. Just like enlightenment usually is.

The world is divided into two parts.
The one you’re inside, and whatever is outside it.

You’re not excited. Let me explain.

It was 10 p.m. when I came home. I saw my neighbour, the kind man who brought me food when I was sick and whose wife offered to let me watch T.V in her house. There was kindness and trust outside, there was temporary company and temporary love outside. Then, I walked to my door.

When I opened it, I walked in to a dark, musty room smelling dimly of fungi. I thought awhile before the lights came on to crush any larger than life for his own good cockroach that tried to run past me. There was the dark inside, heavy sighs inside, silent, angry prayers inside. There was a chunk of old loneliness and self-talking inside.

When I shut the door and bolted that lock, I was in a new zone, a z + 1 axis. There was no night any more, no light anymore, no friendly neighbour, no terror attack fright, no civil war over water, no global warming, no consumer research, no independence day anymore.

It didn’t matter what time it was, except if it had to do with proceedings with the outside world.
I didn’t shut a door, I had closed a portal.

When I realized this, I dropped my jaw. There was a mad urge to sleep with the door open, be connected with the rest of the planet.

I was overwhelmed with my new found knowledge, yet scared that my front door is a vacuum, when I figured everyone has that bolted front door that they’ve shut themselves into without realizing they’ve actually shut themselves out.

But being inside gives you protection, the sense of a safe place, possession and freedom. How ironic! That’s what we do with emotions too, I suddenly realized.
My enlightenment done, I paced around my house divinely with my bright retro halo tagging along behind me.

I was free. I had attained mild internal salvation, diet moksha.

Then came my second intense discovery.
I need a television. Either that or inferior intelligence.


kartik krishnan said...

i think thats another way to look at things.
When i shut the door and am inside my room, I'm completely at peace with myself. I dnt care about the rest of the world. I dnt care wat happens outside .. as long as im comfortable doing whatever (watching TV/Films reading books) I'm perfectly ok.

Slowly the room gets to u .. and u feel the need to get out.. be it for a drink with friends. . or a movie ... or a date ... or on the internet ... something .. somthing ..

The classic case of man wanting cold when the weather is hot .. and wanting heat when the weather is cold ..

Monolith... said...


And you need a television. Most definitely. Or friends. I'm not sure. Maybe both.

Woman?? said...


I seem to relate to your description. Although, I never had thought about it this way.

Inside and outside. The price paid for the security of barriers is solitude. And the penalty of reaching out is the risk of having your hand chopped off. Which do you choose? Apples or oranges?

Monolith's right, that friends and, definitely, TV would make you feel better, or at least less. But that wasn't the point, was it? This wasn't a complaint. Just an acknowledgement of the way things are.

vichchoobhai said...

Dear sis, it takes time to adjust to new surroundings especially when u r alone. I used to live in a one room tenement in bombay and at night used to feel like screaming. But one gets over it. As one finds new friends and neighboruhood kids callng u didi and trying to get their homework done by u, u will find yourself one with the world again. A time may come when u may have to shut the door to keep them out! Have patience and have a tv set if absolutely necessary. I consider it a torture box. Maybe if u r a creative writer u may like to watch the ads and flip channels when the commercial break is over.

Monolith... said...

woman: I never said she was complaining. I just said she needed the above mentioned. She rarely complains.

Ok. THAT was a lie.

Woman?? said...


Haa haa...
I think we all complain just as 'rare'ly.

Monolith... said...

woman: right as always!!

Rae: BLOG MORE!! I need something to read. Am getting bored here!! And need KFC company. Come back quick.

Rae said...

woman: true.. wasn't complaining. thanks for feeling the same, though i do feel bad you had to feel it too.

monolith: i don't complain.. well.. not. every 30 seconds.. mostly.

bhai: i AM in mumbai.

rae: get that tv.

Rae said...

oh, and karthik: thanks for understanding, but i WILL NOT PLAY MAYA.

therapy said...

You're the only one who knows what living here's like....sigh...

mono i have tv.

friends...uh, they kiss ears too much here,

Arthur Quiller Couch said...

Were you on Manali?

Rae said...

Arthur Quiller Couch: No. Davengere.. smoother.