Thursday, November 02, 2006

'Mama' Calling

I wish the Caller ID technology had never touched my life.

(Some polyphonic tone, would be lying if I said Tring Tring)

'Mama calling', my phone read, blinking at me brightly like a psycho killer would, I'm guessing.

'What did you eat?'

I knew that was coming. It came five times a day, everyday, for the six years I've been living away from my parents.

Probably, I wouldn't be this irritant if I didn't know who was calling. I'd just give into the call like you give into fate.

Look, don't get me wrong. I love her, I mean, its a biological liability. You can't help but love your mom. She'll nag, she'll bug, she'll even rearrange your furniture, but well, she's Mummy.

“What did you eat?'

I will not answer that phone. I will NOT answer that phone.

'Mama calling'
My phone was still blinking at me brightly like a psycho killer would.

I've tried to talk to her, you know.

I've said, “Mama, I'm not a kid anymore.. I mean.. I know you think I am.. But trust me, I can look after myself.. You needn't keep calling to find out where I am, or what I'm doing. Or what I ate! You've gotta trust me!”
“Okay, okay. I know. You had food?”

Once, my mom said, “You know, Rae, our phone bill's gone too high this month.”
MUHAAAHHAAAA!!!!!

“I know, Ma. You know what? Don't call me five times a day. Call me once. Or twice. Maybe in the morning and then once at night to begin with.. then we can cut down after that?”
“Why?”
“Your bill's high 'cos you keep calling me..”
“So?”

“No, mama, I mean we can cut on costs.. I mean, Even I can't pick your calls all the time.. I'm in a meeting.. or at work.. so, we'll speak twice a day..”

“Hmm.. What did you have for lunch?”

There comes a time when you realize you've moved on. You still love home, but its now your parents'. Mom and Dad are now individuals, they have names besides 'Mom' and 'Dad'. And you begin to consciously see how you are pretty much like them in many small, significant ways, whether you like it or not.

In case you're wondering, my phone was still blinking brightly at me, like a psycho killer would, probably.

Its sad. Sad for her because she loves me so much she can't let go. Sad for me because she loved me so much I realized I can love myself more. Sad because she's holding onto me so tight, I can't breathe anymore.

But, dammit, I love her. I can't stand giving her details of what my digestive system has been through since morning, but, maybe I should tell her she means a lot to me, and if she wants me to be the grown-up she keeps idolizing, she needs to let me grow up, by myself.

“Hi, ma.”
“What took you so long?”
“I didn't see my phone ring.”
“What nonsense! You didn't pick my call even in the afternoon!”
“I didn't see it.”
“Rae, you're being very careless with your excuses. What were you doing?”
“Nothing, mama.”
“Talk to me, Rae! You don't talk to me anymore!”

Damn.

“Mama, how many different things can I tell you in a span of two hours everyday? You call me five times!”

Shouldn't have used that tone.

“Sorry, mama. Just worked up.”

I was glad she'd probably ask me something else now. But NO!

“Hmm. You handle your issues. You're too big for me to tell you what to do. What did you eat?”

I hate the Caller ID.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm sure a lot of people can relate to this...great post..fresh and candid ...good one!

therapy said...

Ha..

We both have Mamas that are forces beyond our mortal skills.

vichchoobhai said...

U may be busy with your life, your work away from home, but for your mama u r still the loving daughter who needs to be treated like a chlld, however much u may resent it. There is a saying in Kannada " Oorige arasanadaroo taayige maga"
Good that she asks u only about your gastronomical status,and her telephone bills - not whether u have changed your maidservant or increased her salary, whether u have done the dishes, tried your hand at cooking e.g. making upma from MTR's ready mix, what dress u r wearing and whether u slept on time yesterday. Remember Parkinson's law - Work expands to fill the time available. For your mom the phone calls have to fill up her spare time.

For a change, start talking to her about your office work, expatiating on what transpired in the brainstorming sessions, what new strategies u r thinking of to increase sales, or whatever. She will get bored and cut down on her calls to u.
Maybe she will doze off as u keep talking shop.

But dont tell her that u spend three hours at the coffee bar with broken chairs and chipped cups.That will ring alarm bells!

therapy said...

I suspect vichchoobhai belongs to an international spy ring that has founded new and innovative methods to eliminate the human race.

Anonymous said...

u r not a kid anymore and ur mom is not young anymore, if only you understood why would she call u 5 times a day, if u really want to cut her phone bill u can rather call her once in a day and she dont need to call you.

I dont know what will erase human race vichoobhai's statement or the one who relates to ur irritation, but one day they will relate to ur mom's intentions.

If they thought you cannot take care of urslf they wouldn't let u out in the first place.. i think its high time that u take care of them.
So take care..

vichchoobhai said...

Apropos of Therapy's trite comment
about my backaground, present mission and my ultimate objective of hastening the coming apocalypse, I wish to assure her that I am no spy but I do snoop around and remember thngs people write in their blogs in unguarded moments. I might have slipped up about Therapy's non-existent UK background in my comments on one of her blogs but that does not mean I am a nihilist. As to what I have written about Rae, let her point out if i have slipped somewhere. I again apologise to Therapy, profusely this time, offer the pipe of peace.

Until..... said...

Mums are the best. Until they try to get you married!

Rae said...

ok! ok! i'm a curse.. a bane on my family! mother! oh woe! woe! may the sky fall on me and my head of fake pride!!
p.s: ma if yo're readin this, pls feel free to adopt vichchoobhai. he'll be a good daughter. son, i dunno, but daughter, yes.

Woman?? said...

The second 'anonymous' sounds like a true mother.
None of this is going to destroy humanity. This friction has been going on since the first-ever adolescent stepped out of the cave.
It is just a part of life.

Rae:
FYI, that deleted comment was mine. I Made a spelling mistake.

vichchoobhai said...

Ya let Rae's mom adopt me, I am ready, I will be a good son to her and a good brother to Rae too in the bargain whether she bargained for it or not. I wont ever refuse calls from my adoptive mom talk to her for hours on end ( inflating her telephone bills to ten times the present level) which of co urse Rae will subsidise and tell her all about what her daughter is doing in Bangalore ( after due editing of course)

Pick up the gauntlet Rae

vichchoobhai said...

Ya let Rae's mom adopt me, I am ready, I will be a good son to her and a good brother to Rae too in the bargain whether she bargained for it or not. I wont ever refuse calls from my adoptive mom talk to her for hours on end ( inflating her telephone bills to ten times the present level) which of co urse Rae will subsidise and tell her all about what her daughter is doing in Bangalore ( after due editing of course)

Pick up the gauntlet Rae

Rae said...

BHAIYYA!!!

vichchoobhai said...

O meri pyari bahana, tum kahaan thi itne saal? Yaad hai hum dono ek mele mein bichad gaye the! Main ek chalti rail gadi pakadke bambai pahoonch gaya aur bada Don bangaya ( abtak chappan) aur tumhe dhoondta raha. Khuda ne aankhein kholi aur tumse mila diya ( vo bhi blog ke darye)
Tum kitni badi hogayi ? Jaldi ammi se milao. Man taras raha hai unhe dekhne. Jaldi chalo us chote gaon ki ore jahaan darya ke garaj ke beech bhi tanhayi hai. Jahaan ammi aur abba rahte hain. Kitni khushi hogi unko unka khoya hua laadla bachcha dekh kar?
Take me there ! - Your long lost brother.

Gutterflower said...

We all relate.